This whole trip can be summed up by that scene in Forrest Gump where Jenny is sitting on the curb playing her guitar, when some hippie dude pulls up and asks, "anyone want to go to San Francisco."
"I'll go," Jenny responded.
And so it was that she turned into a Heroin addict only to then face her demons, give birth to the kid who sees dead people and marry Forrest.
Apologies for the sidetracking but my point is that everything has been pretty spur of the moment, go with the flow, carpe diem.
The Diamondbacks go with Josh Byrnes at GM over Jon Budish and I find myself in Sydney.
I get an email from a random family who knew a kid who was friends with a kid who I played basketball against when I was 12. Boom, I had shelter.
So when I got an email from my cousin's Jersey friend Keith telling me that he was going up to Byron Bay, I said fuck it, I'm in.
We shared a cab to the airport, me Keith and his buddy Alex. They had been in Australia for two days and had already seen the light. The conversation titled: "Why the Fuck do we live in America" became the fall back.
Byron Bay is considered the hippie town of Australia. We hopped on the shuttle to our hostile, befriended a European traveler named Alex and were on our way.
We arrived at the Arts Factory- the name of the hostel- and it was just pretty damn surreal. It was like a commune for travellers. It was set in kind of a forresty area, with tents and bungaloos, a picnic area where people ate and drink and mingled. Hard to describe but it was really cool.
We played trivia that night and befriended a couple Norwegian girls with names I can't spell, a 42 year old hippie from San Francisco who looked like a skinnier, pony-tailed version of my buddy Louis and a bunch of random french dudes.
We got second.
I won a raffle and got a free scuba trip in Cairns. That was pretty sweet.
But then I was blown away.
I started playing with this dog who was roaming around the picnic tables. His owners, a man and a woman came up and introduced themselves. The man, a spitting image of former Miami heat great Ronny Seikaly wore a t-shirt that read: "I'm big in Europe."
I chuckled. I'm always down for the ironic frat guy humor.
So I told him it was a cool t-shirt.
He proceeded to take the shirt off his back and give it to me.
"I can't take that," I said, bashfully.
"No worries mate," replied Bizarro Seikally.
"Are you sure?" I asked.
"Please, it's the Australian way," he replied.
Ah the Australian way. You'll read later about the most amazing "Australian way" you could experience. But I was pretty impressed. I gave him the t-shirt I was wearing as a token of appreciation. It was navy blue and said nothing on it, but it was the best I could do.
Combined with the spirits and the setting and I was truly in heaven. The t-shirt did smell pretty bad so I went back to my room to change. But I'll never forget the story behind that t-shirt.
I developed quite the kinship with one of the norwegian girls named Bianca. Her english was pretty good and she insisted on dancing. Considering I am my father's son , possessing the dance moves of a young Brandon Walsh, I grew nervous but was up for the challenge. A couple of pints of liquid courage and I would be on my way.
I made her and her fellow Norwegians take pictures doing the Randy Moss "Break it up" TD celebration. She got me on the dance floor for the first time since Bar Mitzvah season of 1995. When she told me in a broken Norwegian accent that she was "proud of me" life had peaked.
Jon Gruden, one of my heroes, loves to talk about how proud he is of his team. It's a pretty big drunk among me and some of my nearest and dearest. Now a 5'2 Norwegian who drank scotch and orange was too.
The next day, I ventured solo to a place called Nimbin.
Nimbin was a day trip, an hour away, that can be only be described as Haight Ashbury X 10,000. It's a community of hippies based around marijuana. The whole town is a Dave Matthews' fan dream. On the bus I met two girls from St. Joes who I spent the day with.
The thing to do there was to buy pot cookies or brownies and just freak out. Another american from St. Louis named Cory sure loved to talk about his pot. I'm not really a pot guy but I thought I'd check out the place anyway.
It was worth the trip.
A total freak out. The girls I was with bought there cookies. I wasnt about to buy drugs off a guy who looked like the homeless man on 77th st who was a diehard Collegiate basketball fan, but apparently that was the thing to do.
We walked up and down the street, checked out the crowd. Really unlike anything I had ever seen. Definitely worth the trip.
Got back to the hostel and met with Keith and Alex. There we bumped into Kieran, a british traveller who we had randomly met in Sydney about two weeks earlier. He was a die hard Buffalo Sabres fan (don't ask) and a heck of a bloke.
We went to a bar where this girl from Vancouver we had met the night before was bar tending. It was a whole crew of us now, about 8 deep. We watched Barcelona play Rome in soccer. Kieran, a diehard Rugby player had this to say about Soccer:
"See the thing about soccer, is that all soccer players are a bunch of faggots."
I was expecting him to say it was a game of discipline or patience. I was rather amused.
Partied again, had a blast. Once again there was dancing. I learned a very important lesson. People from the rest of the world LOVE to dance.
And apparently so do people from Jersey.
My buddy Keith had all the moves of a glow stick twirling, Corona drinking, Cancun meat head. I was fascinated that a little white guy from Jersey could move like that.
For me, my legs just don't move as fast of my upper body. It's too bad.
The next day I hung out with the St. Joes girls at the beach and took a hike up to this lighthouse that is the most eastern part of Australia. In my head I couldn't help but think of the Keanu Reeves smash hit "The Lighthouse" -the one where he and Sandra Bullock are living two years apart.
Ben Lyons of the E! channel panned the flick.
I insisted on listening to the Keane song from the preview during my trek.
I caught a flight to Melbourne that night to meet my friend Annie. I was also going to meet my maker, Bodhi Satva in Bells Beach.
I arrived in Melbourne at around 9pm Thursday, completely wiped out from my time in Byron. Annie was pretty dead too so she whipped up some noodle dish and we crashed.
But bad news.
There was no public transportation to Bells beach and she had to leave Melbourne early Saturday. I was pretty bummed. She tried to calm me down by telling me that she found out that final scene in Point Break was, in fact, filmed somewhere in Oregon - Ok Dana.
Oregon, who knew. Jesus freaks named Luke who are sweet at basketball and the final scene of Point Break. Go Ducks! I later found out that there was a type of tree in the Bells Beach scene of Point Break that doesn't grow in the Southern Hemisphere. FYI.
I needed rest before I could weigh my options.
Friday I slept for about 15 hours. I woke up, got some breaky (among my favorite Aussie terms) and went into Melbourne. While Annie worked I wandered around the city. It's a really cool town. Kind of reminds me of New York, SF, London. Very clean, beautiful.
It's cool to check out new places. I got off the tram at a place that seemed central , turned around and saw the Australian Open stadium.
Annie called me at about 5pm telling me to meet her and some of her friends at this bar in town. I knew that Bells Beach wasn't going to happen. It just didn't make sense. I wasn't seriously upset but I was in a joking way.
I met a bunch of Annie's friends, an Asian girl whose name I forget and three Australian guys. All really cool. They all worked in finance and the bar was very much an "after work" bar. Only it didn't wreak of D-bag finance people like they often do in NYC
One of them, Richard, was a huge baseball fan. We talked Moneyball for about an hour.
Then is when the miracle happened.
I'm sitting there and introduce myself to Nick, another finance guy.
We shake hands tell each other where we are from. About two minutes in I tell him that I was bummed that I didn't get a chance to get to Bells Beach.
His response:
"No worries mate, We'll take you tomorrow."
(We had shook hands for the first time within the last 200 seconds)
"Oh don't worry about it, you don't have to do that" I responded assuming he was kidding.
"You want to go Bells Beach, you're travelling all this way, I'm going to take you to Bells Beach," Nick replied.
"But Nick, it's like 2 hours away."
"No worries. Me and Rich will pick you up at 11am tomorrow."
"Are you sure?" I replied in utter shock.
"Jon. No worries, its the Australian way."
Ahhhhh. The Australian way. Befriend a complete stranger and offer to drive him 5 hours so that he can go see a beach that he is fixated on because of a Keanu Reeves movie.
Imagine meeting someone at a bar and agreeing to drive them to philly because they wanted to try a cheese steak.
I was in complete shock.
I had never expereienced anything like it. How could people be so nice? It wasn't human.
We partied the rest of the night. I got some more pics of people from all over the world doing the Randy Moss TD celebration and went home.
The next morning, sure enough I get the call from Nick.
He picks me up from Annie's house, we grab Richard and are on our way. I still couldn't believe what I was experiencing. Two people who I had met 12 hours earlier giving up their Saturday to drive me to Bells Beach.
The car ride was as pleasant as one could be.
Two hours of chatter. Sports, politics, women.
Nick insisted on driving to Lourne, a beach town about two hours outside of Melbourne for what he called the "best steaksandwich in Australia."
The restaurant was awesome, overlooking the ocean. We ordered at the bar and I insisted on paying. And this wasn't a half hearted attempt. I really insisted on paying. But Nick and Richard wouldn't have it. They paid. They wouldn't have it any other way.
I promised them that when they came to America that I owed them the world.
I made this promise about 30 times.
Sure enough, the sandwich was incredible. We wrapped up, had a few beers and I was off to meet my maker.
We drove to Bells Beach. With every passing mile my anticipation grew.
When we arrived I smiled.
It wasn't all that great, a lot smaller than I had imagined.The waves weren't that big and the day grew slightly overcast.
But it didn't matter. I was in a place that I had joked about coming to for about ten years. I took more pictures than I would if I visited the White House. I walked around and soaked in the moment and more so the act of generosity that brought me here.
I was still in shock by the gesture.
I wish my co-worker Nick the Voice could have been there. We used to watch Point Break quite frequently instead of working. He called me Johnny Butah.
Unfortunatenly there was no sign of Bodhi. I saw some footprints that may have been his, but were not confirmed. I eveen saw a surfer that appeared to be Bodhi, but it wasn't him.
It was time to go.
I accidentally cut the bottom of my foot on the beach leaving a minor trail of blood. It was special. Me and Bells Beach had become Blood brothers.
We drove back to the airport, Nick and Rich dropped me off. Their act of generosity would never be forgotten.
If anyone needs anything and I mean literally anything in the world, now is the time to hit me up. I'm in a very giving mood.
Vaya con dios,
Jon
Email of the trip: "Yo Jon. How's Austria going? Scwartzenegger is doing big things back in America."
-Jawn
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
The Best of Times, The worst of times.
It was 11PM on Saturday and I was the happiest and most content I had been in a really long time. Yet it was only four hours earlier that I literally found myself in my own personal hell.
The following takes place between 9pm Friday and 1pm Sunday.
Friday 9PM: I venture to this girl Kristen's house for dinner on her roof. She lives in Kings Cross- Think Times Square but a little seedier and one of the more popular night life areas of Sydney. Her roof gives you a view of the entire city in every direction. Its one of the cooler views Ive seen and can be rivaled only by the view of the 84th st Loews theater from my apartment at 450 West End.
Friday 11PM: I go to meet some friends of mine at a place called Dragon Fly in Kings Cross. I am warned: "This might not be your scene."
Friday 11:30 PM: I enter what can only be described as a discotechque. It's completely Euroed out. We are meeting this little Asian girl from Italy who took "experimentaion" to new heights. If asian girls are your cup of tea, then this one would have really suited you.
I looked around for a minute or two and realized one undeniable truth...
I was completely sober.
This was place was beyond bizarre. Of all things I don't get in life, techno music might top the list. Dudes dancing around to this music like it is some form of zen. They hopped and skipped around. Everyone looked like the french guy from the movie Swimming Pool. And there I was. Generic Jon from New York City. I realized I had a few options.
1. Drink half a bottle of whiskey, get creepy and join the fun.
2. Sip beers from the side and observe.
3. Leave the bar.
At first I figured option 1 was my best bet. When in Sydney do what the really weird Euros do?
That was until I found out that shots were $14.
I started to "sip beers." I watched the action with some of my friends and was particulary dazzled by two things:
1. The freakishly tall Travis Knight look alike who was so into this techno music that it was consuming him. His dance moves can only be described as awkward-suave.
2. The group of three eastern european women standing a few feet away wearing what appeared to be nightys who all looked like super models.
So after enjoying the freakishly tall guy do his thing for a little while I decided to go talk to the eastern europeans.
SLAM DUNK it seemed. This was too easy. It was going way too well. They were really friendly despite a significant language barrier. In my mind I had the most glorious visions of the night to come.
But it all came crashing down.
I realized after about 10 minutes of conversation that there was something a little off about these girls. In America there is the stereotype that girls like guys for their money. I got the sense that these girls were similar only different.
See they wanted my money, but they wanted lots of it and in return they would do bad things to me. The lovely russians were hookers...Salt.
1AM Friday: Time to leave. We depart from the discotechque for Scruffy Duffy's. You couldn't ask for a more opposite place.
It was the Jersey Shore in Sydney. The cover band rocked out to the killers. Meatheads and girls named Lisa sang along, marveled about Bruce Springstein and talked about how nice it was to grow up in Jersey. Not really buy you get the idea.
4AM Saturday: We leave the bar and return to Bondi. Good times.
10:30PM Saturday: I have a pretty bad headache. My room is too bright to go back to sleep.
2PM: After banging out a few episodes of Heroes I grab some lunch
3PM: I make my way down to the beach. Normally I'm not a big beach guy but Bondi Beach is great. The water is the perfect temperature and then when you get out, you lay down and it is perfect weather. Sometimes I'll fall asleep. Other times Ill just lay there and think about blogging.
But its about as relaxing as it gets.
The only comparison was this beach I went to in Costa Rica during my senior year of Spring Break. It was beautiful and empty. It would have been my #1 except I have this dark memory of this girl I was with surprising me with what turned out to be maybe the greatest arm I had ever seen on a lady. She fired that football at me like she was Brett Favre. And I wasn't ready for it. It knocked me right in the gut and completely took the wind out of me. Because of that, Bondi is #1. No bad memories.
4PM: I go this little outdoor gym they have right on the beach and get in a quick work out. I can do 11 pull ups now( definitely not going all the way down) and am gunning for 20. This is when I realize that I don't have keys.
4:10PM: I start walking home hoping that someone is there. But I wasn't worried. There is ALWAYS someone at the house so this wouldn't be a problem.
4:17PM: THERE IS NO ONE AT THE HOUSE.
4:18PM: FUCK
4:19PM: After knocking on all the doors and getting no response, I check each of the three doors to see if any might be open. They are not.
I go to the side of the house to see if any of the windows are open. They are not.
The exterior of the back of the house is all windows and I could see no one was there. No one except the dog, Loki.
I try to connect with Loki to somehow let me into the house. That doesn't work. Then I realize that the wet bathing suit I am wearing is starting to make things downstairs a little itchy. I am not happy.
4:30PM: I start walking around Bondi praying I will see one of my flatmates. I have to pee really badly and walk into a local bar.
4:31PM: Thats better. But still, hopeless. I decide to walk to the other end of the beach- about a 15 minute walk- to my friends house.
4:45PM: I arrive at the apartment. Joanna, one of the girls is getting ready to go to work. Todd is sitting there checking out the internet.
I explain my situation. They empathize. We then strategize.
CHECK MY EMAIL!
Maybe the person I was renting from had emailed me her cell phone #, I could call her from todd's phone and this could be solved.
I check my email. Nothing.
I begin to worry that my flatmates may have gone to their beach house and wouldnt return for the night. This really sucks.
I borrow some money and a sweatshirt
Todd tells me of a bbq he is going to go to later and I tell him I will meet him there.
5:07PM- I return to my home praying that someone will be there. No one home.
5:09PM: I try everything. I try to go Maguyver with a coke can and some plants. I try jedi mind tricks. I pull on the door as hard as I can.
5:12: I am defeated
5:13PM: I sit down in my backyard and just go blank. I am convinced that this will all work out. They will return any minute and all will be good.
6:00PM: They have not returned. By now its getting a little cold. I walk out to the main street hoping I will see someone. Surprise, surprise. I don't.
6:30PM: One last try with the Jedi mind tricks. They don't work. I do manage to get the dog to bark a lot when I start banging my head on the door.
I am completely helpless.
I decide to walk over to the barbeque. Why not? If worst came to worse I could stay on Todd's couch that night. It really wasn't that bad. This is just the type of shit that I stress over.
6:45 PM: I finally find the house. I walk in- flip flops, bathing suit, mesh jersey and zipper up hoodie thats about 3 sizes too small. I basically look like a hobo.
I walk to the door and see a couple of dudes standing there.
"Hi I'm here for Ali's bbq...I'm a friend of Todd's"
And that was when things turned.
As always, these were nicest people in the world. The two guys greeted me as though I were Eli Manning right after winning super bowl. They walked me into the party and introduced me to everyone. Couldnt have felt more welcome. I find my friend Todd and he introduces to the hostess, Ali.
Shocker.
A jewish girl from New York City who went to Horace Mann and Cornell and dominated the Jewish Name game unlike anything I had seen since the good old days back at UPenn. She was a real sweet heart.
There were about 15 people on the giant outdoor patio and at least 7 nationalities represented. And of course, 2 jews from the New York City private schools.
8:45 PM- Just having a blast. I've had a few beers and a few burgers. Talking, drinking and laughing with people from all over the world. As a bonus, there are three of the most beautiful English girls I have ever seen in my life at the party. They all had boyfriends (Bullocks) with them but it didn't matter. It restored my faith in Mother England.
Up until then, I HATED England. I got the worst food poisoning in my life in that hell hole. It was the worst 48 hours of my life. I got on an airplane back to Dublin (study abroad) that I was convinced was going to be taken by terrorists because I actually wanted to die.
Fuck England!
Until now. One looked like Victoria Beckham. Another looked like the Adult film star, Sylvia Saint. Don't really have a good comparison for the third. And they were all really cool, too.
Everyone at the party was for that matter. They wanted to know about American culture so I told them.
I got in the classic argument with this South African guy about American football vs. Rugby. And for the first time I felt like the argument was resolved.
They are just two different types of athletes.
Football is a game of short bursts. Rugby is a game of stamina. The helmet allows freakish athletes to be crazy in a way that no Rugby player could be, but few American football players could run as much rugby players do for 90 straight minutes.
Everything was great.
But still in the back of my mind was my house. I wanted to change. I wanted my cell phone. It's unbelievable how naked you feel without a cellphone. And I didnt even really have anyone to call.
9:30 PM- I tell the revelers that I am going to give it one final shot to get into my house. They wish me luck like its my wedding day. I would be back either way, but hopefully in some different clothes. They wish me well.
9:45PM- I arrive at my house. In my head I hear the Final Countdown by Europe, my cell phone ringer for much of my junior year of college. This was it. Gut check time. 24 minutes of good solid team defense.
9:46PM- VICTORY!
9:47PM- I get let into the house. My three flatmates deep into another random movie on the Sci-Fi channel. I had never been happier to see them. I explain to them of my journey, they have a laugh and remind me of the importance of bringing my keys with me when I leave the house. Simple but true.
10:03PM- I leave my house, showered up and dressed. Life is good. I walk back to the party, pick up some beer for everyone and am on my way.
10:20- I return to the party. People see my outfit change and get excited, much like Jon Gruden when he sees Charles Woodson make a play.
I feel like I'm at home, partying with my best friends in the world. I had known most of these people for about 3 hours.
11PM- A few beers later and a few conversations about different parts of the world, rap music, new york and baseball, and I find myself sitting on a really comfortable chair wearing a funky pair of sunglasses that I had borrowed from one of the british dudes. I sat there and kind of just observed the party.
The chair was incredibly comfortable, the weather just right, and I was perfectly drunk on Victoria Bitter beer (finally I have a favorite for the ever popular question: Whats your favorite beer?)
I hadn't felt this much at ease since I went to a University of Georgia football game about three years ago. It was the first week of the season, the day was beautiful, football was back. I had just had shoulder surgery and little girls named Katie offered me sweet tea and asked me if I was ok, in perfect southern accents. I was with a great group in a great atmosphere and I was just totally at peace with myself.
I was here again.
I looked around the room and around the globe. Everyone was having such a good time. Human interaction at its purest.
I probably looked ike Andy Dufrane (Tim Robbins) in Shashank Redemption when he sat on the roof and watched the other inmates drink the cold beers that he had earned for them, just totally content.
3AM- One of the best nights of my life had passed. I made great friends of total strangers all thanks to a party hosted by a girl who grew up on the other side of Manhattan.
The Montagues vs the Capulets is how I described the East Side/West Side Debate to the United Nations of party goers.
The night had come to an end.
I exchanged phone numbers and emails with about 5 or 6 people with the promise that this wouldnt be the last time we saw each other.
You meet a lot of people when you are travelling and often youll never see someone again in your life. Not this time.
11AM Sunday- I wake up to a text from one of the girls inviting me to join a group of them for "Breaky."
I was tired and wanted to go back to sleep. But I couldn't pass up my first ever invite to "breaky." (breakfast)
11:25 AM- I arrive at the cafe and see a group of 10 or so of the people from the night before. It was like I was walking into Blondies to meet the crew for Sunday football.
11:35 AM- DESTINY
Padders, one of the diners is discussing his favorite movies when out of nowhere, he brings up POINT BREAK.
We discuss the film (it is a film) for no less than 20 minutes. The South African tries to argue with me against Keanu Reeves' acting chops for which I get very heated. The irish girl tells me she has never seen the movie for which I am shocked. The english girl tells us of how when she was a kid people told her she looked like Anthony Keedis (a little resemblance) for which we all have a laugh.
11:50AM- I realize my mission is still not fulfilled. I eat some of the tastiest french toach I have ever eaten, drink this crazy fruit drink ordered for me by one of the Aussies and I feel like about $62 bucks - a big step up from an hour earlier.
12PM- I bid the table farewell, but not before we make plans for a screening of Point Break for later in the week. Homework before my trip to Bells beach.
1PM- I head to the beach to meet some people, keys in hand.
Vaya,
Jon
A couple of side notes that I thought would pass but didnt really fit the story.
1. A few regrets
-Havent taken enough pictures. Really wish I had the first lady out here to snap away as my own personal papparazzi. Salt.
-Really wish I had brought a draft day suit - the ones that you see players wearing at the nba or nfl draft. Im talking light blue with a cane. Its fun and you could pull it off here and chalk it up to being foreign.
-Wish I had done a few more day trips out here. Oh well.
2. Thursday I hit up another NBL game. It was the Sydney Kings vs the New Zealand something or others. This was my second game and I was anxious to find a player that I recognized (not easy). But then there he was, Kirk Penney, the former Wisconsin sharp shooter chucking three's from the corner much like I did for most of my childhood.
I started rooting for Kirk and the New Zealand squad but they got killed. Oh well.
3. Really fascinated by the slang they use out here. .
There are so many little different things that people out here say:
"How you going?" instead of "How's it going?"
It took me a while to get used to this one. How am I going? Im going to walk. I think?
They say "proper" instead of good. "It'll be a proper time."
There are about a million others.
4. Shaved my head the other day. Had to. It was getting too long and all they have out here is salons. Not spending $50 bucks to have some french guy tell me how he can make me look pretty.
Plus I hate cheating on Franco. Franco is my barber who Ive gone to since I was I was 3 years old. I take a 45 minute bus ride to see him every 6 weeks or so. I used to plan my trips home from college around seeing him. Ive known him longer than anyone in this world outside of my family and do everything in my power to not go to other barber shops. He cuts my hair, we talk baseball. It just works.
5. I've seen more bizarros(twins) out here of people back home. If you are interested in knowing if Ive seen yours, shoot me an email. Decent chance I have. I can lie if you want me to. But its amazing just walking down the beach and seeing an exact twin of say, Tim Sacks, a friend of mine from home. I saw him, only it wasnt just about an hour before I write this piece.
6. Outside of disco, the other thing I really dont get is women's footwear.
The new thing in australia are those sandal/shoes that look like they are straight from the Gladiator Era.
Is that the Spaniard? Nope, its Inga from Austria.
They just look so weird and dumb.
Tis all.
The following takes place between 9pm Friday and 1pm Sunday.
Friday 9PM: I venture to this girl Kristen's house for dinner on her roof. She lives in Kings Cross- Think Times Square but a little seedier and one of the more popular night life areas of Sydney. Her roof gives you a view of the entire city in every direction. Its one of the cooler views Ive seen and can be rivaled only by the view of the 84th st Loews theater from my apartment at 450 West End.
Friday 11PM: I go to meet some friends of mine at a place called Dragon Fly in Kings Cross. I am warned: "This might not be your scene."
Friday 11:30 PM: I enter what can only be described as a discotechque. It's completely Euroed out. We are meeting this little Asian girl from Italy who took "experimentaion" to new heights. If asian girls are your cup of tea, then this one would have really suited you.
I looked around for a minute or two and realized one undeniable truth...
I was completely sober.
This was place was beyond bizarre. Of all things I don't get in life, techno music might top the list. Dudes dancing around to this music like it is some form of zen. They hopped and skipped around. Everyone looked like the french guy from the movie Swimming Pool. And there I was. Generic Jon from New York City. I realized I had a few options.
1. Drink half a bottle of whiskey, get creepy and join the fun.
2. Sip beers from the side and observe.
3. Leave the bar.
At first I figured option 1 was my best bet. When in Sydney do what the really weird Euros do?
That was until I found out that shots were $14.
I started to "sip beers." I watched the action with some of my friends and was particulary dazzled by two things:
1. The freakishly tall Travis Knight look alike who was so into this techno music that it was consuming him. His dance moves can only be described as awkward-suave.
2. The group of three eastern european women standing a few feet away wearing what appeared to be nightys who all looked like super models.
So after enjoying the freakishly tall guy do his thing for a little while I decided to go talk to the eastern europeans.
SLAM DUNK it seemed. This was too easy. It was going way too well. They were really friendly despite a significant language barrier. In my mind I had the most glorious visions of the night to come.
But it all came crashing down.
I realized after about 10 minutes of conversation that there was something a little off about these girls. In America there is the stereotype that girls like guys for their money. I got the sense that these girls were similar only different.
See they wanted my money, but they wanted lots of it and in return they would do bad things to me. The lovely russians were hookers...Salt.
1AM Friday: Time to leave. We depart from the discotechque for Scruffy Duffy's. You couldn't ask for a more opposite place.
It was the Jersey Shore in Sydney. The cover band rocked out to the killers. Meatheads and girls named Lisa sang along, marveled about Bruce Springstein and talked about how nice it was to grow up in Jersey. Not really buy you get the idea.
4AM Saturday: We leave the bar and return to Bondi. Good times.
10:30PM Saturday: I have a pretty bad headache. My room is too bright to go back to sleep.
2PM: After banging out a few episodes of Heroes I grab some lunch
3PM: I make my way down to the beach. Normally I'm not a big beach guy but Bondi Beach is great. The water is the perfect temperature and then when you get out, you lay down and it is perfect weather. Sometimes I'll fall asleep. Other times Ill just lay there and think about blogging.
But its about as relaxing as it gets.
The only comparison was this beach I went to in Costa Rica during my senior year of Spring Break. It was beautiful and empty. It would have been my #1 except I have this dark memory of this girl I was with surprising me with what turned out to be maybe the greatest arm I had ever seen on a lady. She fired that football at me like she was Brett Favre. And I wasn't ready for it. It knocked me right in the gut and completely took the wind out of me. Because of that, Bondi is #1. No bad memories.
4PM: I go this little outdoor gym they have right on the beach and get in a quick work out. I can do 11 pull ups now( definitely not going all the way down) and am gunning for 20. This is when I realize that I don't have keys.
4:10PM: I start walking home hoping that someone is there. But I wasn't worried. There is ALWAYS someone at the house so this wouldn't be a problem.
4:17PM: THERE IS NO ONE AT THE HOUSE.
4:18PM: FUCK
4:19PM: After knocking on all the doors and getting no response, I check each of the three doors to see if any might be open. They are not.
I go to the side of the house to see if any of the windows are open. They are not.
The exterior of the back of the house is all windows and I could see no one was there. No one except the dog, Loki.
I try to connect with Loki to somehow let me into the house. That doesn't work. Then I realize that the wet bathing suit I am wearing is starting to make things downstairs a little itchy. I am not happy.
4:30PM: I start walking around Bondi praying I will see one of my flatmates. I have to pee really badly and walk into a local bar.
4:31PM: Thats better. But still, hopeless. I decide to walk to the other end of the beach- about a 15 minute walk- to my friends house.
4:45PM: I arrive at the apartment. Joanna, one of the girls is getting ready to go to work. Todd is sitting there checking out the internet.
I explain my situation. They empathize. We then strategize.
CHECK MY EMAIL!
Maybe the person I was renting from had emailed me her cell phone #, I could call her from todd's phone and this could be solved.
I check my email. Nothing.
I begin to worry that my flatmates may have gone to their beach house and wouldnt return for the night. This really sucks.
I borrow some money and a sweatshirt
Todd tells me of a bbq he is going to go to later and I tell him I will meet him there.
5:07PM- I return to my home praying that someone will be there. No one home.
5:09PM: I try everything. I try to go Maguyver with a coke can and some plants. I try jedi mind tricks. I pull on the door as hard as I can.
5:12: I am defeated
5:13PM: I sit down in my backyard and just go blank. I am convinced that this will all work out. They will return any minute and all will be good.
6:00PM: They have not returned. By now its getting a little cold. I walk out to the main street hoping I will see someone. Surprise, surprise. I don't.
6:30PM: One last try with the Jedi mind tricks. They don't work. I do manage to get the dog to bark a lot when I start banging my head on the door.
I am completely helpless.
I decide to walk over to the barbeque. Why not? If worst came to worse I could stay on Todd's couch that night. It really wasn't that bad. This is just the type of shit that I stress over.
6:45 PM: I finally find the house. I walk in- flip flops, bathing suit, mesh jersey and zipper up hoodie thats about 3 sizes too small. I basically look like a hobo.
I walk to the door and see a couple of dudes standing there.
"Hi I'm here for Ali's bbq...I'm a friend of Todd's"
And that was when things turned.
As always, these were nicest people in the world. The two guys greeted me as though I were Eli Manning right after winning super bowl. They walked me into the party and introduced me to everyone. Couldnt have felt more welcome. I find my friend Todd and he introduces to the hostess, Ali.
Shocker.
A jewish girl from New York City who went to Horace Mann and Cornell and dominated the Jewish Name game unlike anything I had seen since the good old days back at UPenn. She was a real sweet heart.
There were about 15 people on the giant outdoor patio and at least 7 nationalities represented. And of course, 2 jews from the New York City private schools.
8:45 PM- Just having a blast. I've had a few beers and a few burgers. Talking, drinking and laughing with people from all over the world. As a bonus, there are three of the most beautiful English girls I have ever seen in my life at the party. They all had boyfriends (Bullocks) with them but it didn't matter. It restored my faith in Mother England.
Up until then, I HATED England. I got the worst food poisoning in my life in that hell hole. It was the worst 48 hours of my life. I got on an airplane back to Dublin (study abroad) that I was convinced was going to be taken by terrorists because I actually wanted to die.
Fuck England!
Until now. One looked like Victoria Beckham. Another looked like the Adult film star, Sylvia Saint. Don't really have a good comparison for the third. And they were all really cool, too.
Everyone at the party was for that matter. They wanted to know about American culture so I told them.
I got in the classic argument with this South African guy about American football vs. Rugby. And for the first time I felt like the argument was resolved.
They are just two different types of athletes.
Football is a game of short bursts. Rugby is a game of stamina. The helmet allows freakish athletes to be crazy in a way that no Rugby player could be, but few American football players could run as much rugby players do for 90 straight minutes.
Everything was great.
But still in the back of my mind was my house. I wanted to change. I wanted my cell phone. It's unbelievable how naked you feel without a cellphone. And I didnt even really have anyone to call.
9:30 PM- I tell the revelers that I am going to give it one final shot to get into my house. They wish me luck like its my wedding day. I would be back either way, but hopefully in some different clothes. They wish me well.
9:45PM- I arrive at my house. In my head I hear the Final Countdown by Europe, my cell phone ringer for much of my junior year of college. This was it. Gut check time. 24 minutes of good solid team defense.
9:46PM- VICTORY!
9:47PM- I get let into the house. My three flatmates deep into another random movie on the Sci-Fi channel. I had never been happier to see them. I explain to them of my journey, they have a laugh and remind me of the importance of bringing my keys with me when I leave the house. Simple but true.
10:03PM- I leave my house, showered up and dressed. Life is good. I walk back to the party, pick up some beer for everyone and am on my way.
10:20- I return to the party. People see my outfit change and get excited, much like Jon Gruden when he sees Charles Woodson make a play.
I feel like I'm at home, partying with my best friends in the world. I had known most of these people for about 3 hours.
11PM- A few beers later and a few conversations about different parts of the world, rap music, new york and baseball, and I find myself sitting on a really comfortable chair wearing a funky pair of sunglasses that I had borrowed from one of the british dudes. I sat there and kind of just observed the party.
The chair was incredibly comfortable, the weather just right, and I was perfectly drunk on Victoria Bitter beer (finally I have a favorite for the ever popular question: Whats your favorite beer?)
I hadn't felt this much at ease since I went to a University of Georgia football game about three years ago. It was the first week of the season, the day was beautiful, football was back. I had just had shoulder surgery and little girls named Katie offered me sweet tea and asked me if I was ok, in perfect southern accents. I was with a great group in a great atmosphere and I was just totally at peace with myself.
I was here again.
I looked around the room and around the globe. Everyone was having such a good time. Human interaction at its purest.
I probably looked ike Andy Dufrane (Tim Robbins) in Shashank Redemption when he sat on the roof and watched the other inmates drink the cold beers that he had earned for them, just totally content.
3AM- One of the best nights of my life had passed. I made great friends of total strangers all thanks to a party hosted by a girl who grew up on the other side of Manhattan.
The Montagues vs the Capulets is how I described the East Side/West Side Debate to the United Nations of party goers.
The night had come to an end.
I exchanged phone numbers and emails with about 5 or 6 people with the promise that this wouldnt be the last time we saw each other.
You meet a lot of people when you are travelling and often youll never see someone again in your life. Not this time.
11AM Sunday- I wake up to a text from one of the girls inviting me to join a group of them for "Breaky."
I was tired and wanted to go back to sleep. But I couldn't pass up my first ever invite to "breaky." (breakfast)
11:25 AM- I arrive at the cafe and see a group of 10 or so of the people from the night before. It was like I was walking into Blondies to meet the crew for Sunday football.
11:35 AM- DESTINY
Padders, one of the diners is discussing his favorite movies when out of nowhere, he brings up POINT BREAK.
We discuss the film (it is a film) for no less than 20 minutes. The South African tries to argue with me against Keanu Reeves' acting chops for which I get very heated. The irish girl tells me she has never seen the movie for which I am shocked. The english girl tells us of how when she was a kid people told her she looked like Anthony Keedis (a little resemblance) for which we all have a laugh.
11:50AM- I realize my mission is still not fulfilled. I eat some of the tastiest french toach I have ever eaten, drink this crazy fruit drink ordered for me by one of the Aussies and I feel like about $62 bucks - a big step up from an hour earlier.
12PM- I bid the table farewell, but not before we make plans for a screening of Point Break for later in the week. Homework before my trip to Bells beach.
1PM- I head to the beach to meet some people, keys in hand.
Vaya,
Jon
A couple of side notes that I thought would pass but didnt really fit the story.
1. A few regrets
-Havent taken enough pictures. Really wish I had the first lady out here to snap away as my own personal papparazzi. Salt.
-Really wish I had brought a draft day suit - the ones that you see players wearing at the nba or nfl draft. Im talking light blue with a cane. Its fun and you could pull it off here and chalk it up to being foreign.
-Wish I had done a few more day trips out here. Oh well.
2. Thursday I hit up another NBL game. It was the Sydney Kings vs the New Zealand something or others. This was my second game and I was anxious to find a player that I recognized (not easy). But then there he was, Kirk Penney, the former Wisconsin sharp shooter chucking three's from the corner much like I did for most of my childhood.
I started rooting for Kirk and the New Zealand squad but they got killed. Oh well.
3. Really fascinated by the slang they use out here. .
There are so many little different things that people out here say:
"How you going?" instead of "How's it going?"
It took me a while to get used to this one. How am I going? Im going to walk. I think?
They say "proper" instead of good. "It'll be a proper time."
There are about a million others.
4. Shaved my head the other day. Had to. It was getting too long and all they have out here is salons. Not spending $50 bucks to have some french guy tell me how he can make me look pretty.
Plus I hate cheating on Franco. Franco is my barber who Ive gone to since I was I was 3 years old. I take a 45 minute bus ride to see him every 6 weeks or so. I used to plan my trips home from college around seeing him. Ive known him longer than anyone in this world outside of my family and do everything in my power to not go to other barber shops. He cuts my hair, we talk baseball. It just works.
5. I've seen more bizarros(twins) out here of people back home. If you are interested in knowing if Ive seen yours, shoot me an email. Decent chance I have. I can lie if you want me to. But its amazing just walking down the beach and seeing an exact twin of say, Tim Sacks, a friend of mine from home. I saw him, only it wasnt just about an hour before I write this piece.
6. Outside of disco, the other thing I really dont get is women's footwear.
The new thing in australia are those sandal/shoes that look like they are straight from the Gladiator Era.
Is that the Spaniard? Nope, its Inga from Austria.
They just look so weird and dumb.
Tis all.
Monday, February 11, 2008
The Saga Continues
Great times continue.
Been out here almost three weeks, feels like three years. I find myself saying 'mate' and 'cheers' and wondering which one of my friends from home will punch me first when I do it back in the city.
The weekend was a blast.
Did some sight seeing. Was going to go out to the Zoo but it was raining so me and a friend walked around, checked out the Opera House, the botanical gardens and a decent part of the downtown area.
Imagine if New York was surrounded by beautiful beaches and then the Hudson and East River were clean and nice. Then throw in the weather of Los Angeles and happy people and there you have Sydney. It has definitely lived up to expectations.
If only it had my deli.
Saturday night we did a pub crawl for my friend Annie Pak's bday. Annie went to Penn a year above me and she recently moved to Melbourne for work.
The theme was golf, a back 9 with 9 pubs. Each pub you had a different drink, every sip counted as a stroke. Low score wins. It pretty much turned into a chugging competition, FIERCE, and a pretty big shit show.
Everyone dressed in pretty sleek golf outfits and it was a really great group. Me, with limited wardrobe to get creative looked like a washed up drunk who frequented the local pitch and putt in some really shitty part of Florida.
Great times. Most of her friends were Aussies and British. I normally hate everything about England but these people were all really friendly. Definitely going to steal this idea for my birthday.
Sunday I did the walk from Bondi Beach (Where I live) to Coogee. Its a walk along the coast, something that people do. My mother would have said "gorgeous" about 500 times. I think I dropped it about 15-20. But yeah, It was really beautiful. Kind of like the drive up the PCH to Malibu. Definitely something everyone should do once.
It took about three hours and I ended up with a pretty sweet redneck.
But like my previous 'Momo' highlight, I was once again a pig in shit when I saw a Subway in Coogee. I had said to myself earlier that afternoon that all this place is missing is a Subway/deli that makes sandwiches and then it might as well be heaven on earth. And then there she was.
My time in Sydney is quickly coming to an end.
In about a week Im going to start doing some travelling.
Will do 3-4 days in Melbourne. Most important though is the visit I plan to make to Bells Beach, the sight of the 50 year storm and the last known whereabouts of Bodhi. Apparently its about an hour outside of Melbourne. I think the last time I was this giddy was when me, cousin and J Schubes took the walk to the Lincoln Memorial to re-enact the scene from Wedding Crashers where Owen Wilson says "We're not that young."
Take it or leave guys, I am who I am.
Then, my buddy Mike Needham from home is coming out here to travel with me. It was a pretty pleasant surprise. Travelling alone gets tiring and I wasn't too thrilled about doing any of those Contiki tours so this really worked out.
We're going to do the following:
-1 Week on the south Island New Zealand
-1 week up the east coast of Australia (Cairns, Airli, Byrum Bay)
-5 days in Tokyo/Small village where my buddy from Dublin lives. A bunch of the Irish kids I played basketball with from when I studied abroad will be out there for St Paddy's so it should be a proper laugh.
The last time I saw any of these guys was when my buddy Padraig came to the states, we got stuck in Jersey coming home from Atlantic City on the night of the New York Blackout. He shows me Tokyo. I showed him Jamesburg, New Jersey.
- 3 days in Hong Kong
- 3 days in Kuala Lampur
- 5 days in Thailand
Then back to the good old US & A just in time for Opening Day.
Going to spend a week or so out in SF for the Twins birthday and just to take some time to relax before I head back to the NYC for the home opener at Shea. It's going to be pretty sad to let her go.
My first opening day was when I was in 8th grade. Big ups to my folks for letting me skip school. I think that was the one day where Collegiate taught us about the advantages of Judaism. Sad I missed it.
It was glorious rain-soaked day. It was me and Jawn and then my brother and a bunch of his friends. Rey Ordonez made the throw from his knees up the left field line and we accidentally left Jawn at the subway station on the way home.
13 years and many a trip to Subway later and here I am. Live from Sydney, Australia.
Today I went to a bar where there was trivia night. When the questions turned to American politics, all the Aussies I was with quickly turned to me.
It was one of the most surreal experiences of my life.
Vaya,
Jon
PS- If anyone wants to come join the travels give me a shout and I'll let you know where we'll be.
Been out here almost three weeks, feels like three years. I find myself saying 'mate' and 'cheers' and wondering which one of my friends from home will punch me first when I do it back in the city.
The weekend was a blast.
Did some sight seeing. Was going to go out to the Zoo but it was raining so me and a friend walked around, checked out the Opera House, the botanical gardens and a decent part of the downtown area.
Imagine if New York was surrounded by beautiful beaches and then the Hudson and East River were clean and nice. Then throw in the weather of Los Angeles and happy people and there you have Sydney. It has definitely lived up to expectations.
If only it had my deli.
Saturday night we did a pub crawl for my friend Annie Pak's bday. Annie went to Penn a year above me and she recently moved to Melbourne for work.
The theme was golf, a back 9 with 9 pubs. Each pub you had a different drink, every sip counted as a stroke. Low score wins. It pretty much turned into a chugging competition, FIERCE, and a pretty big shit show.
Everyone dressed in pretty sleek golf outfits and it was a really great group. Me, with limited wardrobe to get creative looked like a washed up drunk who frequented the local pitch and putt in some really shitty part of Florida.
Great times. Most of her friends were Aussies and British. I normally hate everything about England but these people were all really friendly. Definitely going to steal this idea for my birthday.
Sunday I did the walk from Bondi Beach (Where I live) to Coogee. Its a walk along the coast, something that people do. My mother would have said "gorgeous" about 500 times. I think I dropped it about 15-20. But yeah, It was really beautiful. Kind of like the drive up the PCH to Malibu. Definitely something everyone should do once.
It took about three hours and I ended up with a pretty sweet redneck.
But like my previous 'Momo' highlight, I was once again a pig in shit when I saw a Subway in Coogee. I had said to myself earlier that afternoon that all this place is missing is a Subway/deli that makes sandwiches and then it might as well be heaven on earth. And then there she was.
My time in Sydney is quickly coming to an end.
In about a week Im going to start doing some travelling.
Will do 3-4 days in Melbourne. Most important though is the visit I plan to make to Bells Beach, the sight of the 50 year storm and the last known whereabouts of Bodhi. Apparently its about an hour outside of Melbourne. I think the last time I was this giddy was when me, cousin and J Schubes took the walk to the Lincoln Memorial to re-enact the scene from Wedding Crashers where Owen Wilson says "We're not that young."
Take it or leave guys, I am who I am.
Then, my buddy Mike Needham from home is coming out here to travel with me. It was a pretty pleasant surprise. Travelling alone gets tiring and I wasn't too thrilled about doing any of those Contiki tours so this really worked out.
We're going to do the following:
-1 Week on the south Island New Zealand
-1 week up the east coast of Australia (Cairns, Airli, Byrum Bay)
-5 days in Tokyo/Small village where my buddy from Dublin lives. A bunch of the Irish kids I played basketball with from when I studied abroad will be out there for St Paddy's so it should be a proper laugh.
The last time I saw any of these guys was when my buddy Padraig came to the states, we got stuck in Jersey coming home from Atlantic City on the night of the New York Blackout. He shows me Tokyo. I showed him Jamesburg, New Jersey.
- 3 days in Hong Kong
- 3 days in Kuala Lampur
- 5 days in Thailand
Then back to the good old US & A just in time for Opening Day.
Going to spend a week or so out in SF for the Twins birthday and just to take some time to relax before I head back to the NYC for the home opener at Shea. It's going to be pretty sad to let her go.
My first opening day was when I was in 8th grade. Big ups to my folks for letting me skip school. I think that was the one day where Collegiate taught us about the advantages of Judaism. Sad I missed it.
It was glorious rain-soaked day. It was me and Jawn and then my brother and a bunch of his friends. Rey Ordonez made the throw from his knees up the left field line and we accidentally left Jawn at the subway station on the way home.
13 years and many a trip to Subway later and here I am. Live from Sydney, Australia.
Today I went to a bar where there was trivia night. When the questions turned to American politics, all the Aussies I was with quickly turned to me.
It was one of the most surreal experiences of my life.
Vaya,
Jon
PS- If anyone wants to come join the travels give me a shout and I'll let you know where we'll be.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
A Trip to The Movies that turned out to be so much more
A quick trip to the movies turned out to be quite the experience.
The weather was shitty so I called this girl I know for a matinée of "There Will Be Blood". We hopped on the bus to Bondi Junction (10 minutes away) to the big Westfield Mall. She was a jersey girl and a mall aficionado. You might say she was in heaven. (Why is everyone from Jersey exactly the same?)
The movie theater was on the 6th and top floor of the mall. We shot up the escalator until we got to floor #5.
That is when my mouth dropped and I found myself in complete awe.
It takes a lot to blow me away. It's usually not a celebrity or star athlete as much as when I see someone wearing a really obscure NBA jersey that I get truly excited.
But there it was. The most amazing sight I had seen since my travels began.
It was the most gorgeous view. It was so bright and so sharp that it could cut glass. There it was in neon lights with beautiful purple trim...
MOMO
It took me two weeks to find my first Momo sighting. But there is was, the bar lounge right outside of the movie theater entrance.
Most of you should catch the reference, but for those that don't, Momo is the last name of my oldest friend, Ben Momo, the midfielder to my goal-hanging forward in West Side Soccer when we were 6 years old. His name has become legendary over the years, a fixture in the New York City Prep School Hall of Fame. I didn't have my camera on me, but lets just say, I will be back to secure my many photos with the landmark.
..............
Of course the movie I wanted to see wasn't starting in Australia till Saturday, even though apparently all movies there start on Thursdays. Bullocks.
So we had two options.
Charlie Wilson's War or Fools Gold.
I didn't really care which one to ...Or did I? I purposely let the girl I was with choose knowing that she would go for the girl's choice.
Fool's Gold- A romantic comedy in which Kate Hudson and Matthew Mcconaughey mend their relationship while searching for treasure...YES!
It didn't matter though. Kate Hudson is my #1. (I caught Raising Helen in the theaters...Sorry Dad)
And I legitimately liked How To Lost a Guy in 10 Days. Hudson and Mcconaughey have a chemistry that I haven't seen since Woody and Wesley.
But still, my expectations were rather low.
And lets just say, my expectations were barely met. The movie was 2 hours of pretty unentertaining junk. But there was a lot of Kate Hudson in a bikini...
AND TWINS!
Yeah, the movie wasn't all that great but the experience sure was an eye-opener.
First off, we had assigned seats. We paid for the tickets and our concessions in the same place .
$16 Fucking dollars for a movie ticket. My student id card knocked the price down to $12. It made New York feel like Tempe, AZ.
Additionally, I hadn't eaten lunch so my plan was to load up on movie theater snacks.
$17 later and I had myself a soda, popcorn and an M & M's.
You might say that the $30 some odd dollars it cost me to see a lousy movie would not be worth it.
But the site of those two precious syllables, Mo and Mo- made it all worth it and then some.
Vaya,
Jon
PS- apologies for the series of grammatical errors and one line paragraphs. The editing is where Bart and formerly Lucy usually come in to help me out.
The weather was shitty so I called this girl I know for a matinée of "There Will Be Blood". We hopped on the bus to Bondi Junction (10 minutes away) to the big Westfield Mall. She was a jersey girl and a mall aficionado. You might say she was in heaven. (Why is everyone from Jersey exactly the same?)
The movie theater was on the 6th and top floor of the mall. We shot up the escalator until we got to floor #5.
That is when my mouth dropped and I found myself in complete awe.
It takes a lot to blow me away. It's usually not a celebrity or star athlete as much as when I see someone wearing a really obscure NBA jersey that I get truly excited.
But there it was. The most amazing sight I had seen since my travels began.
It was the most gorgeous view. It was so bright and so sharp that it could cut glass. There it was in neon lights with beautiful purple trim...
MOMO
It took me two weeks to find my first Momo sighting. But there is was, the bar lounge right outside of the movie theater entrance.
Most of you should catch the reference, but for those that don't, Momo is the last name of my oldest friend, Ben Momo, the midfielder to my goal-hanging forward in West Side Soccer when we were 6 years old. His name has become legendary over the years, a fixture in the New York City Prep School Hall of Fame. I didn't have my camera on me, but lets just say, I will be back to secure my many photos with the landmark.
..............
Of course the movie I wanted to see wasn't starting in Australia till Saturday, even though apparently all movies there start on Thursdays. Bullocks.
So we had two options.
Charlie Wilson's War or Fools Gold.
I didn't really care which one to ...Or did I? I purposely let the girl I was with choose knowing that she would go for the girl's choice.
Fool's Gold- A romantic comedy in which Kate Hudson and Matthew Mcconaughey mend their relationship while searching for treasure...YES!
It didn't matter though. Kate Hudson is my #1. (I caught Raising Helen in the theaters...Sorry Dad)
And I legitimately liked How To Lost a Guy in 10 Days. Hudson and Mcconaughey have a chemistry that I haven't seen since Woody and Wesley.
But still, my expectations were rather low.
And lets just say, my expectations were barely met. The movie was 2 hours of pretty unentertaining junk. But there was a lot of Kate Hudson in a bikini...
AND TWINS!
Yeah, the movie wasn't all that great but the experience sure was an eye-opener.
First off, we had assigned seats. We paid for the tickets and our concessions in the same place .
$16 Fucking dollars for a movie ticket. My student id card knocked the price down to $12. It made New York feel like Tempe, AZ.
Additionally, I hadn't eaten lunch so my plan was to load up on movie theater snacks.
$17 later and I had myself a soda, popcorn and an M & M's.
You might say that the $30 some odd dollars it cost me to see a lousy movie would not be worth it.
But the site of those two precious syllables, Mo and Mo- made it all worth it and then some.
Vaya,
Jon
PS- apologies for the series of grammatical errors and one line paragraphs. The editing is where Bart and formerly Lucy usually come in to help me out.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Super Bowl Monday
Hey guys,
Everything is great out here. There is a monsoon going down outside which has me stuck inside today.
Click on THIS to read about my Super Bowl Experience. Was truly a blast. GO BLUE.
Apologies if there is a little bit too much sports in there. I write it for my sports website. And disregard the pen name Sip, its a tribute to an old buddy back home.
-Jon
Everything is great out here. There is a monsoon going down outside which has me stuck inside today.
Click on THIS to read about my Super Bowl Experience. Was truly a blast. GO BLUE.
Apologies if there is a little bit too much sports in there. I write it for my sports website. And disregard the pen name Sip, its a tribute to an old buddy back home.
-Jon
Sunday, February 3, 2008
So life is really good right now.
It's sunday at 9:45PM. Im getting ready to hit the sack early so I can wake up Monday morning to watch Big Blue in the Super Bowl at 10AM.
I had previously written this whole bit about why I came to Australia(below this one with a little more detail about my flight, etc). That I was searching for the body of Bodhi from Point Break, convinced that he survived the dreaded 50 year storm. But I figure I'll save that for the 4 people that might find it funny. Truth is, I got into business school and kind of just said fuck it. I always wanted to come out here, worked with a bunch of awesome Aussies at Camp Cedar, booked a flight and here I am.
Ive been here a little over a week now and I am really starting to love it.
The flight out went really well. I was originally stuck in a middle seat, 52B, next to a 400 lb bulooga whale, convinced that this was a sign of a shitty trip to come. But after a little flirting with some flight attendants (male and female) I managed to secure a nice window seat next to a sweet Australian girl and had a pretty reasonable flight. An Ambien some Red wine and that movie with the Rock finding a little girl on his door step and I found myself in Sydney.
I got lucky. I struck up a conversation with a couple of 30-something Chicago meatheads in the bar in the San Fran airport and then stumbled upon them while setting up my phone at the airport. We ended up sharing a cab to Bondi and better, I had people to contact.
I had a hostel for the first couple of nights. I'm no snob (in Collegiate/Penn terms, otherwise yes), but this place was pretty fucking gross. I slept with my head in my hands on top of the pillow rather then risk the potential skin disease that may come with planting my face into the sheets.
So I arrived Thursday morning at around 9:00AM.
I checked out the beach and was amazed. Beautiful women. It was like an Unterberg sales conference. And this wasn't Daytona. The fashions were so weird/different. Dudes in speedos, women wearing really weird sandals. I probably stood out like a sore thumb in a pair of ASU shorts and some new balances.
For the rest of the weekend I hung out with my two chicago meathead buddies. We went to a bar in Bondi the first night, the second night I hung out with some Irish blokes from my hostel and then the third night was Australia Day. We went into Darling Harbor (center city) for the celebration which was incredible. Picture Independence day but with people that actually like their country.
The bars are all incredible. Its all Australians and Irish people. People are so genuinely happy. They all sing along to the songs at the bars and not cause they are awkward or bored like they are most of the time back home, but because they genuinely just like singing. Unfortunately for me, there were no Coldplay tracks at the bar, but when Wonderwall by Oasis came on, I hugged a bunch of Irish and sang my little heart out.
I also moved into my flat that first Saturday (week ago). Through a friend of a friend I fond a place with this older Australian couple (mid 30's) and their friend who had recently broken up with his girl friend.
It couldn't have worked out better. I have a place about 4 blocks from the beach, the people are very friendly and amazing cooks. Two things are really fascinating about the group. First their knowledge and interest in American politics. They know more about the elections that I do (not saying much) and just seem very curious.
Second, their taste in televsion. It's so bizarre. These are nice, smart, normal people. Yet they watch the crappiest television imaginable. They are obsessed with Sci Fi. There favorite show is Starship something or other starring Macgyver and the dude from Parker Louis Can't lose. The other day I caught them deep into Fast and The Furious Tokyo Drift.
So the first weekend was great. But the two chicago meatheads went off travelling.
This was good because these guys really liked to drink. It was exhausting.
This week I found myself taking it easy. One, because I needed the rest but also because I didnt really have much else to do. I got into a nice routine of 11am wakeup, breakfast, check the internet for about an hour or so, go for a run/exercise at this local park, lunch, beach, relax, dinner, sleep. Not bad.
But I was a little bored. I didn't really have any people to hang out with. I didn't want to just show up at bars and strike up conversations.
But things really worked themselves out.
I have been meeting people thru friends of friends from back home and then friends of friends of friends.
On thursday I went to see the West Sydney Razor Backs, a professional basketball team out here, play, along with a couple of Aussies that I was put in touch with. It was a couple, the guy was 6'10 and friends with Luke Schensher, the fromer Georgia Tech stand out 7-footer. Apparently Im going to hang out with him in Adelaide in a couple of weeks. It's really a goal of mine to accumulate as many 7-foot friends as possible for my Facebook profile picture. Currently it's Longar Longar of the university of Oklahoma, but Schenscher is definitely within reach.
The game was a blast. The talent was about as good as a Dartmouth/Brown game but it was still awesome to see.
Friday I met up with this girl Kristen, another friend of a friend back home. She has turned into my saving grace out here. She just moved out here for work just a couple of days before I got out here and is kind of in a similar boat. She couldn't be a sweeter kid and she also has a really pleasant phone voice. She's gone out of her way to introduce me to people that she has met, mostly through work. We went out had some fun.
Saturday, same thing. I met a couple more American girls on the bus to the bar. It's weird, never in a million years would I strike up a conversation on a bus in New York, but out here, it just seems normal. It's just weird being a "foreigner." These girls were from Jersey. Cousin Evan would be proud.
I met Kristen and a bunch of her co-workers at this bar in the city. Great time. I met this 6'0 blonde Australian girl, fell in love. You get the drift. But it was a blast. Australian girls seem to really take to Americans. I guess I am finally the guy with the accent. And I can also defend my lack of fashion sense as just being "American." No one knows better. So t-shirt, jeans and Tims it is.
But it's really been a lot of fun. Really couldn't be happier.
The culture is just incredible out here. Everyone is so friendly. It's so tremendously diverse - the other night my flat mates had two Germans named Jergen over for dinner- and people are really interested in hearing about life in the States, especially New York.
It's been ten days and it feels like its been a year.
The other night my housemates cooked Beer Can chicken. They put a chicken on a half full can of beer and cooked it. Maybe the best chicken I have ever had.
That kind of sums up the experience so far. It's just been great and different. I can't even imagine how much fun my friends from Penn had studying abroad here. The weather, people, nightlife are all so awesome.
It's surprisingly extremely expensive out here. I've just been pillaging cash. The only thing that is cheap is beer at bars. But otherwise, it's more expensive than New York. Good time for the American dollar to be at an all time low I guess.
So yeah, that is where I am.
A couple of days ago I was convinced I would only stay in Sydney for a month or so but now I really never want to leave. My damn brother and his damn wedding to his damn perfect fiancee who I love, otherwise, I may have stayed out here till school started.
That's all for now.
Hopefully everything is going great back in the States.
Big Blue tomorrow morning. This could be a lot of fun.
All the best,
Jon
It's sunday at 9:45PM. Im getting ready to hit the sack early so I can wake up Monday morning to watch Big Blue in the Super Bowl at 10AM.
I had previously written this whole bit about why I came to Australia(below this one with a little more detail about my flight, etc). That I was searching for the body of Bodhi from Point Break, convinced that he survived the dreaded 50 year storm. But I figure I'll save that for the 4 people that might find it funny. Truth is, I got into business school and kind of just said fuck it. I always wanted to come out here, worked with a bunch of awesome Aussies at Camp Cedar, booked a flight and here I am.
Ive been here a little over a week now and I am really starting to love it.
The flight out went really well. I was originally stuck in a middle seat, 52B, next to a 400 lb bulooga whale, convinced that this was a sign of a shitty trip to come. But after a little flirting with some flight attendants (male and female) I managed to secure a nice window seat next to a sweet Australian girl and had a pretty reasonable flight. An Ambien some Red wine and that movie with the Rock finding a little girl on his door step and I found myself in Sydney.
I got lucky. I struck up a conversation with a couple of 30-something Chicago meatheads in the bar in the San Fran airport and then stumbled upon them while setting up my phone at the airport. We ended up sharing a cab to Bondi and better, I had people to contact.
I had a hostel for the first couple of nights. I'm no snob (in Collegiate/Penn terms, otherwise yes), but this place was pretty fucking gross. I slept with my head in my hands on top of the pillow rather then risk the potential skin disease that may come with planting my face into the sheets.
So I arrived Thursday morning at around 9:00AM.
I checked out the beach and was amazed. Beautiful women. It was like an Unterberg sales conference. And this wasn't Daytona. The fashions were so weird/different. Dudes in speedos, women wearing really weird sandals. I probably stood out like a sore thumb in a pair of ASU shorts and some new balances.
For the rest of the weekend I hung out with my two chicago meathead buddies. We went to a bar in Bondi the first night, the second night I hung out with some Irish blokes from my hostel and then the third night was Australia Day. We went into Darling Harbor (center city) for the celebration which was incredible. Picture Independence day but with people that actually like their country.
The bars are all incredible. Its all Australians and Irish people. People are so genuinely happy. They all sing along to the songs at the bars and not cause they are awkward or bored like they are most of the time back home, but because they genuinely just like singing. Unfortunately for me, there were no Coldplay tracks at the bar, but when Wonderwall by Oasis came on, I hugged a bunch of Irish and sang my little heart out.
I also moved into my flat that first Saturday (week ago). Through a friend of a friend I fond a place with this older Australian couple (mid 30's) and their friend who had recently broken up with his girl friend.
It couldn't have worked out better. I have a place about 4 blocks from the beach, the people are very friendly and amazing cooks. Two things are really fascinating about the group. First their knowledge and interest in American politics. They know more about the elections that I do (not saying much) and just seem very curious.
Second, their taste in televsion. It's so bizarre. These are nice, smart, normal people. Yet they watch the crappiest television imaginable. They are obsessed with Sci Fi. There favorite show is Starship something or other starring Macgyver and the dude from Parker Louis Can't lose. The other day I caught them deep into Fast and The Furious Tokyo Drift.
So the first weekend was great. But the two chicago meatheads went off travelling.
This was good because these guys really liked to drink. It was exhausting.
This week I found myself taking it easy. One, because I needed the rest but also because I didnt really have much else to do. I got into a nice routine of 11am wakeup, breakfast, check the internet for about an hour or so, go for a run/exercise at this local park, lunch, beach, relax, dinner, sleep. Not bad.
But I was a little bored. I didn't really have any people to hang out with. I didn't want to just show up at bars and strike up conversations.
But things really worked themselves out.
I have been meeting people thru friends of friends from back home and then friends of friends of friends.
On thursday I went to see the West Sydney Razor Backs, a professional basketball team out here, play, along with a couple of Aussies that I was put in touch with. It was a couple, the guy was 6'10 and friends with Luke Schensher, the fromer Georgia Tech stand out 7-footer. Apparently Im going to hang out with him in Adelaide in a couple of weeks. It's really a goal of mine to accumulate as many 7-foot friends as possible for my Facebook profile picture. Currently it's Longar Longar of the university of Oklahoma, but Schenscher is definitely within reach.
The game was a blast. The talent was about as good as a Dartmouth/Brown game but it was still awesome to see.
Friday I met up with this girl Kristen, another friend of a friend back home. She has turned into my saving grace out here. She just moved out here for work just a couple of days before I got out here and is kind of in a similar boat. She couldn't be a sweeter kid and she also has a really pleasant phone voice. She's gone out of her way to introduce me to people that she has met, mostly through work. We went out had some fun.
Saturday, same thing. I met a couple more American girls on the bus to the bar. It's weird, never in a million years would I strike up a conversation on a bus in New York, but out here, it just seems normal. It's just weird being a "foreigner." These girls were from Jersey. Cousin Evan would be proud.
I met Kristen and a bunch of her co-workers at this bar in the city. Great time. I met this 6'0 blonde Australian girl, fell in love. You get the drift. But it was a blast. Australian girls seem to really take to Americans. I guess I am finally the guy with the accent. And I can also defend my lack of fashion sense as just being "American." No one knows better. So t-shirt, jeans and Tims it is.
But it's really been a lot of fun. Really couldn't be happier.
The culture is just incredible out here. Everyone is so friendly. It's so tremendously diverse - the other night my flat mates had two Germans named Jergen over for dinner- and people are really interested in hearing about life in the States, especially New York.
It's been ten days and it feels like its been a year.
The other night my housemates cooked Beer Can chicken. They put a chicken on a half full can of beer and cooked it. Maybe the best chicken I have ever had.
That kind of sums up the experience so far. It's just been great and different. I can't even imagine how much fun my friends from Penn had studying abroad here. The weather, people, nightlife are all so awesome.
It's surprisingly extremely expensive out here. I've just been pillaging cash. The only thing that is cheap is beer at bars. But otherwise, it's more expensive than New York. Good time for the American dollar to be at an all time low I guess.
So yeah, that is where I am.
A couple of days ago I was convinced I would only stay in Sydney for a month or so but now I really never want to leave. My damn brother and his damn wedding to his damn perfect fiancee who I love, otherwise, I may have stayed out here till school started.
That's all for now.
Hopefully everything is going great back in the States.
Big Blue tomorrow morning. This could be a lot of fun.
All the best,
Jon
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